You can still back out...

It's not too late to turn back...

You don't have to press the PgDn key...

Remember...once you've seen it, you can't unsee it!

(You didn't think I'd blow a chance like this to sneak an ad in, did you?)

Okay...if you insist...

There really isn't anything more I can say, except...ok, girls, what can you do for me?

(I figured as much...)

Oh...and here's a little secret. The pic above pretty much speaks for itself, but the previous shot? It doesn't do me justice. No, seriously, it doesn't...I was actually semi-erect when the timer elapsed. That's right...fresh out of the shower, I've got a whole inch and a half to flaunt in front of my hockey-playing beer buddies. The more functional results you see here I credit to good nutrition and lots of...er...exercise.

And you can think what you like about this, but you didn't have to access this page. So who's the bigger wackjob...me for posting this pic, or you for going out of your way to find out just how messed up I am?

By the way, I didn't have time to complete it for the August 6 section opening, but I've got an article coming about the...er...manscaping done here. What I can tell you at this point: when my pubes grow back, it doesn't itch in the slightest. And even if you find this disgusting, I know - I know you want to know the secret behind that claim. (Wish to hell I'd known it ten years ago.)

Famous last words: The one thing I hope I never need to say on this page: "Hi, Mom."

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