Misfits and Slow Learners Track 10: The Secret Dream by Cub Lea as Hot Spot Last updated 12/04

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	Credits:	Words, music, arrangement & production by Cub Lea, 11/87
	Players:	Cub Lea (all instruments)
	Guitar:	Cheap Ovation aluminum-neck acoustic
	Notes:	Recorded and mixed on a Tascam PortaStudio 0.5 4-track cassette recorder 12/87 in a Toronto, Canada rooming house

Concept

A bit of explanation is in order here.

I was a rock critic for several years prior to picking up a guitar and taking a serious stab at doing my own music. In that time, I learned that successful hard rock of the type I wanted to do with the Hot Spot concept involved a precise and particular formula, particularly with a first album. The album must contain at least one extremely heavy track, two very heavy tracks (but not too heavy for FM airplay), a "fun" track (just a throwaway rock-and-roll song in the Beatles tradition), a strong scent of R&B on one track, a "novelty" track with an oddball lyric, and a ballad.

On Misfits and Slow Learners I had all of the essential ingredients except one. I had the requisite "fun" track with Old Time Tunes and the "novelty singles" in Watchin' TV and More to Life Than Sex. I debated with myself for a couple of weeks how to address the lack of a ballad, and I wasn't quite sure whether to go with this song, or with a sappy love song I'd just written and which a female colleague of mine had fallen in love with.

Ultimately I chose to follow a theme instead of a formula, and chose the folkish The Secret Dream over the "true ballad" I Need You. For some reason, When the Time Comes wasn't even on my radar as a closing track, even though it would have been the ideal conclusion, since I felt that the vocals - recorded at a near-whisper during a late night session while other tenants were sleeping - simply didn't measure up, the lead break was weak, and the bell-like clean guitar was a mismatch for the rest of the album.

Hey, you were young and stupid once, too.

Seriously, this lyric stemmed from a "mythic" dream I had in my early twenties whose content I will most definitely not reveal here. This began as a lyric poem and became a song only during the process of recording Misfits. Not bad...not great, by any means, but not bad.

Execution

The simple fact is that this is a horrible execution of a not-bad piece of music. The performance is weak, thanks to the fact that I had to record guitar and vocal separately, being utterly unable to do both at once. I was emotionally drained by the time this was tracked and had little left for anything but straight-ahead rock rave-ups and no-brainer from-the-gut pieces like The Heart that Wishes.

It's unlikely that I'll ever do this song again, and judging from the reactions I've had from most listeners, you ought to feel grateful for that. All that really redeems this track is the fact that I actually had something better for a guitar than a shitty Ovation copy to work with when I finally got this on tape. If only I'd had someone better to play it.

The Secret Dream

Coming down from a long, long flight
And now the reason's not clear
What I'm doing here
No explanation of my journey into night
Can describe the hopes and fears
That felt so near
I thought I knew a secret
I thought I knew what gave that night to me
I thought I knew the secret but it's gone
In the morning it is gone
In the morning just a song remains
To get me through my day

Have you been through the narrow gate?
Returned and thought it unfair
That you could not stay?
What forces hold you to a cruel, mortal fate?
No demons thrust you into death; become the breath
You thought you knew a secret
You thought you saw the gate light shining on
You thought you knew a secret but it's gone
In the morning it is gone
In the morning just a song remains
To get you through your day

We both dreamed of the rocky road through
We're not the few who find their way
They're not here today
The rest of us tell tales and sing of those great men
Our burdens bear, our debts repay
Living for that day
Still we know there's a secret
We dream we'll dream the dream that leads us on
When we wake in the morning we'll be gone
In the morning life goes on
In the morning it is gone
In the morning there'll be songs to sing
To get us through our day

Copyright ©1988 Living Skill Music