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Rumor control: I'm not dead yet...just very, very untidy.
Sorry if you tried without success to contact me...updates to my contact page didn't 'take'...I've repaired the error and my new address is shown properly now.

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This sewing machine can be yours!

That's right...if you're female, even marginally less repellent than this photo, and live near or can travel to the East Kootenays, this brand-new sewing machine can be yours in exchange for one (1) erotic massage. Act before May 31 and I'll throw in an autographed copy of The Ultimate Shopper, a half-kilo of penny candy, a lightly-used Hot Wheels or Matchbox car of your choice, and a three-day supply of broccoli.

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