The Geekspeak Lexicon: W

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webified

(WEB·uh·fyd) adj. 1. Stripped of content, functionality and/or impact for use on the World Wide Web. 2. A product or service traditionally offered offline which is made slow, clumsy, unfriendly or unreliable to insure a competitive advantage over slower, clumsier, nastier and flakier Internet offerings in its class.

webinar

(WEB·uhn·ar) n. 1. Seminar presented over the World Wide Web as a means of simultaneously expanding the potential audience for a dubious message and concealing the unpopularity of the message from the lone Ukrainian participant. 2. Seminar designed to instruct attendees on cutting-edge web tactics and strategies derived from 1998's most promising Internet startups. 3. Educational content delivered in a metal-detector-free environment.

weblift

(WEB·lift) n. 1. World Wide Web content upgrade, typically consisting of the addition of notices informing visitors of a content upgrade. 2. Overhaul of a web presence to increase the attractive power of the provider's content; analogous to repackaging air in a prettier box. v. 1. The practice of using graphical or text content taken from a web host without the permission of the owner of the site from which the first web originally stole their content.

white hat hacker

(whyt hat HAK·ur). n. phr. A system hacker with conscience; one kind enough to alert administrators of hackable sites to their vulnerabilities before informing fellow hackers of the opportunity and taking bets on the winner.

wildposting

(WYLD·pohst·ing). n. The practice of affixing posters or photocopies to trees, posts, construction boarding and other wooden fixtures in the mistaken belief that attaching paper to the raw material from which it came constitutes an environmentally friendly act.

wink-wrapped

(WINK·rapt) adj. phr. 1. Packaged in a misleading or insinuating manner, implying that the box really isn't empty. 2. Packaged in a manner that offers subtle clues to an exclusive group, typically peers of the developer or marketer, to the fact that the contents are worth less than the packaging.

witling

(WIT·luhng). n. 1. Hapless wit; unwitting bore. 2. Individual who overestimates the sharpness of their wit and in so doing, chisels away the good humor of others, leaving only a sharp point whose sole functional purpose is to be driven forcefully into said individual's posterior. 3. Any individual whose jokes are funnier than yours. rel. wit·ter·ling syn. 98-pound speak·ling

wombat

(WAWM·bat). n. acr. Waste Of Money, Brains And Time. 1. Catch-all term for any idea, thing or concept that someone else likes. 2. A client or customer with an appetite for support exceeded only by their lawyers' appetite for litigation. etym. From the Australian marsupial, relative to the koala, which destroys plant systems by weakening their roots and voraciously consuming anything that threatens to grow to reasonable size.

wordnap

(WURD·nap). v. 1. To impose a meaning on an existing word which differs substantively from its common definition e.g. quality, entertainment, delicious. 2. To protect a common word against misuse by an irresponsible public by copyrighting or trademarking it.

word of mouse

(wurd·uv·MOWS) n. phr. Method of viral promotion in which customers of a product or service apply email and other online communications methods to the task of informing other prospective customers of the virtues of a competitor's offering.

work rage

(WURK rayj). n. phr. 1. Explosive workplace anger stemming from a sudden insight into what is really going on. 2. An antisocial emotional disorder marked by administrator-like behavior.