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play techniqueless thin-brained think-wrapped 361-degree tie tilt-proof tranceaction |
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(TAYK·hohm play) n. phr. Additional reimbursement for services or employment consisting of finely-detailed engraved paper bearing legalese, arbitrary values and collectible autographs, sometimes referred to as "stock certificates". etym. Name refers to their primary value, which is typically as gifts to children or schools for use as craft paper.
(tek·NEEK·luss) adj. 1. Consisting purely of technology; requiring no operator intervention, creative thought or decision-making; either a hardware device, a voice mail system, or an offspring of upper management. 2. Descriptive of non-adjustable processes or methods intended to result in production savings sufficient to offset the cost of employee rage counseling. 2. Capable of executing its intended function so perfectly and automatically that it can never be approved for use or sale.
(THIN·braynd) adj. 1. Of a device or system, one with insufficient processing power to perform a useful function without sucking valuable processing power from another machine with insufficient processing power. 2. Of a person, one capable of absorbing and internalizing motivational materials; an individual endowed with sales or public relations acumen.
(THINK·rapt) adj. 1. Packaged with judicious consideration of the needs of the inventor. 2. Naked; packaged in nothing but an unworkable idea. 3. Absence of value disguised as a new paradigm.
(three·hun·drid·sicks·tee·wun-duh·GREE) adj. 1. That which completes its cycle and goes one step beyond, such that the cost of undoing the extraneous degree nullifies the benefits of completing the cycle. 2. Having such broad scope that it can function one step beyond the parameters required to twist its own head off. also 365-degree: Having such broad scope that in going beyond its normal parameters, it forgets its original purpose.
(TY) n. archaic 1. Male wardrobe accessory worn around the neck for use by customers or superiors as a leash by which one may be led or hanged. Replaced in modern speech by cel phone, net·work ca·ble or e·mail ac·count. 2. Outcome of a head-to-head conflict or competitive scenario in which both sides claim victory.
(TILT·proof) adj. 1. Of a device or application, capable of withstanding severe punishment without revealing the inferiority of its design. 2. Of an individual, one able to withstand close proximity to rapidly-rotating spin without yielding to gravitational pull or clinging to a popular belief for support.
(transs·ACK·shun) n. 1. A commercial exchange in which the customer has been rendered comatose by alcohol or technical data prior to payment. 2. An online business transaction which requires so many page loads and download waits that the screen saver engages before a credit card number can be entered.
(TREND·lut). n. Small, predatory trend that ceaselessly seeks out the sustenance necessary to grow to maturity; often mistaken for a fad by unfortunate onlookers who are unaware that trends acquire powerful biting abilities shortly after they learn to suck.
(TRAK·shun·liss) adj. 1. Able to spin its wheels so noisily that it the curiosity factor inherent in the irritation justifies permitting the spin to continue. 2. Movable in a forward direction only by powering through the slippery remains of those in its path who insist that it is unable to move.
(trayd·mark·SAYF) adj. 1. A name, concept or idea so outrageous or impractical that no one else has devoted time and energy to patenting or trademarking it. 2. An uncopyrightable or unpatentable name, concept or idea whose ownership can nonetheless still be claimed through ritual mortal combat between trademark lawyers.
(TRAN·uh·lawg) adj. Descriptive of a thing in transition between analog and digital; analogous to a skydiver in transition between an airplane and the ground; except that there is no paralog available to assure an injury-free landing.
(TRAWG) n. An individual who displays traits or behavior consistent with a precivilized evolutionary stage. etym. Derived from trog·lo·dyte, a species of homo sapiens once believed extinct but recently rediscovered in isolated pockets of the securities and banking sectors.
(TROL·wr·thee) adj. 1. Deemed fit for provocation without purpose, or suitable for use in exploitive forms of recreation. etym. Derived from the sport of fly fishing; troll·ing v. A technique invented by fish to lure unwitting humans into providing them with an arbitrary or random goal for purposes of play, organized racing, or cardiovascular exercise.
(TWIT fill·tur) n. phr. 1. In e-mail, a software device or script designed to block correspondence and messaging from customers, investors and other undesirable individuals by automatically filtering any communication containing words and phrases such as "forward guidance", "please" and "final billing notice". 2. A conversational or literary device, usually consisting of doublespeak or jargon, invoked to deliberately baffle everyone except the lone smart-ass who is unafraid to ask for an explanation.
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