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(SAY·guhn·yzd) adj. 1. (common) Increased in magnitude by a factor of billions and billions. 2. (finan.) Increased in value by a factor of bullions and bullions.
(skorcht URTH) n. phr. A Darwinian business tactic in which a venture uses all its resources in advance of need, thus insuring that its more deserving competitors will survive to strengthen the gene pool. syn. os·trich gam·bit
(SEE·ree·ul·kill·ur) adj. phr. Descriptive of a product or service which will fail to dominate in more than one category. n. phr. Manager or executive known to be responsible for the deaths of numerous enterprises and who will steer their current venture to profitability by developing a winged pig.
(SHORT·path) adj. phr. 1. An alternative business or product development strategy which saves time and money by skipping vital steps and focusing on the nonessential ones. 2. A venture development method designed to compress the time period between bankruptcies.
(SLASH·dawt·ud) adj. 1. Inundated by Internet traffic to the point where one's web server crashes, typically as a consequence of the site being advertised as offering free pornography. 2. Having suffered a server crash from a surge in web traffic caused by a rumor that the site has crashed.
(slug·und·SLAY) adj. phr. 1. Peripheral PC device such as a card or camera which is sufficiently incompatible with the host computer to force an unrecoverable crash. 2. Software application or hardware device sufficiently crash-prone that tactile input devices such as force-feedback mice become workplace injury hazards.
(SMYL·bal·unst) adj. phr. 1. Engineered to produce the optimum compromise between deserved revulsion and undeserved enjoyment. 2. Sufficiently problematic to insure healthy maintenance revenues.
(SMOK·test·ud) adj. 1. Of a person, idea or piece of equipment, proven durable under extreme circumstances; typically that which has survived both the NASDAQ crash and an SEC audit. 2. Of a company or enterprise, esp. a pure-play dot-com, one which has proven an ability to maintain marginal profitability selling goods or services from which its customers earn massive fortunes.
(SMURF·ung) n. An annoying but relatively harmless form of attack on an Internet address, in which a multitude of clients or other hosts are made to babble in an incoherent and apparently friendly manner at the target with an intensity that makes other attempts to use the target address appear small and silly. Typically the owner of the target is left feeling blue, foolish, exploited, and improperly attired for this environment.
(SNAYL·uh·bull) adj. 1. Transportable by mail, courier or some other delivery method to a recipient who has no need of the shipment. 2. Volatile, inflammatory or controversial; best transmitted via the slowest and costliest means. 2. Capable of being performed just as well and at a fraction of the cost if done without the aid of networked computers.
(SNEE·kur pee·kur) n. phr. 1. Of two or more individuals, the more submissive; the individual whose gaze averts floorward in the hope of spotting valuables dropped by the less submissive. 2. A real or imagined ethical dilemma in which public humiliation or personal degradation is not compensated sufficiently to prevent a split-second of shameful self-examination.
(spyoo tek·NAW·luh·jee) n. phr. 1. Technology produced for the sake of production, typically for purposes of meeting output forecasts. 2. The product of busywork; the new-economy equivalent of vomit or toxic waste.
(spin·cruh·MENT·al) adj. Descriptive of alleged change small enough to be measured in micropundits.
(SPIN·diz·zee) adj. 1. Suffering from vertigo caused by exposure to excessive punditry or propaganda. 2. Sufficiently disoriented by geekspeak and market jargon as to be a willing consumer of anything.
(SPIN·shift·ung) v. The act of redefining the appearance of that which is already made-up or artificial e.g. the application of black lipstick and leather to a Ballerina Barbie. adj. Descriptive of a fact or idea capable of whacking propaganda so hard that it rotates on its ideological axis.
(STINK·rapt) adj. 1. Useful, but packaged with an odor repellent to those most likely to benefit from it. 2. Useless, but packaged with an odor which is completely unnoticeable until the seal is broken and the product is non-returnable.
(STRAT·uh·kul) adj. 1. Strategically methodical; moving so slowly that any damage it produces can escape easy detection. 2. Vertically scalable to such a degree that its highest levels are stratospheric (i.e. unattainable) and thus of interest only to prospective investors.
(STRYF·sy·kul) n. phr. 1. The period of maximum stress in a business' life cycle; typically the period between the moment when the first idea is conceived and the moment when the last fixture is liquidated.
(STRUK·chur·yzd) adj. 1. Having logical form or structure, given that one or more fundamental laws of nature are false. 2. Given an illusory form or structure to compensate for a total lack of purpose or, alternately, to conceal all traces of actual functionality. 3. Transformed from something productive and enjoyable into something its owners can control.
(SOO·pur·syzd) adj. 1. Sized so excessively that the contents or benefits of the offering cannot be safely consumed by a customer with mortal appetites, but still attractively priced on a per-unit basis. 2. Sized appropriately for normal use or consumption, but priced far in excess of the typical consumer's budget.
(SIS·tuh·muh·tyzd) adj. Descriptive of a task, plan or process which is engineered or executed with sufficient precision and rigidity that those engaged in executing it will resign of their own volition, negating the need to downsize when it fails.
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