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(PAK·uht·mung·kee) n. phr. A hacker or cracker who gains fame or notoriety through the application of aggressive denial-of-service techniques; a deliberate network agitator considered amusing and harmless but too odorous and noisy to be kept as a pet. syn. maf·i·a·boy scout
(PAY·pur·hang·ur) n. phr. 1. An individual who collects training certificates with the expectation that these certificates will be worth more to prospective employers than actual experience, or that the sale of said certificates to collectors will one day compensate for the lack of pension or retirement funds. 2. One who seeks certification in fields unrelated to their current position as an alternative to performing actual work. 3. One who engages in strategic placement of training certificates on an office wall to cover blemishes or gaping holes in their ability.
(PAY·pur·wayr) n. phr. 1. Books, bound manuals, brochures and other forms of printed data which cause damage to hardware when inserted into disk drives. 2. Any data which is less credible in printed form than in digital form.
(PAYR·uh·dym·proof) adj. 1. An illusion sufficiently solid to withstand comparison to conflicting illusions. 2. Resistant to the mutating effects of high-velocity spin.
(payr·uh·NYOO·rul) adj. "Brain-like"; having the most rudimentary characteristics of independent thought; resembling or having the appearance of a customer.
(FEER) v. Cautionary expression used by novice hackers and script kiddies to indicate that the target of aggression should fear the potential consequences of the aggressor's incompetence. usage "ph34r my l33t hA><0R1nG zkillz!"
(PLAW·duh·kul) adj. 1. Logical, but not yet mature enough to prove itself pointless. 2. That which gives the appearance of being purposely slow in revealing its purposelessness. etym. Unknown. Derived from a combination of either plod and meth·od·ic·al or pol·it·ic·al and clod.
(pluhg·und·PAY) adj. phr. Third-party computer hardware which is non-functional "out-of-the-box", thus eliminating the anxiety typically experienced while waiting for a functional piece of hardware to fail.
(POYNT·sorst) adj. Acquired via the most direct and efficient means; e.g. from the dealer acting as regional agent to the distributor supplied by a representative of the producer located in the office next door to the customer.
(powst·VIZ·yoo·ul) adj. 1. Stimulating of the sixth sense in a way that allows defects and shortcomings to be intuited before they are actually observed. 2. Descriptive of a process or effect perceived optically which bypasses the optic nerve and washes the brain directly.
(POWT·sors) v. 1. To reluctantly acquire today something which was needed yesterday. 2. To acquire any resource from a third party in a manner which denies the acquisitor the future ability to complain about its lack.
(prag·RET·ro) adj. Disposed to selection of obsolete technologies or techniques for practical (pragmatic) reasons; specifically, having the good sense to realize that the most efficient version of a piece of software or hardware for any given job is the version the manufacturer withdrew from sale last week. also prog·ret·ro Progressively retrograde; having the propensity to advance toward the past.
(pre·AK·choo·uh·lyzd) adj. 1. At full potential before it is needed, and therefore likely to be worn out by the time it is used. 2. Something which fulfills its purpose before it is required, but must nonetheless be made available.
(pre·SIP·ruh·kul) adj. 1. Descriptive of an arrangement in which both parties are dissatisfied with the results in advance of the transaction. 2. Descriptive of an arrangement in which both parties have unknowingly met the exact needs of the other party, thus requiring both parties to seek a mutually-agreeable dissatisfaction through litigation.
(prym·TYM·uh·bull) adj. 1. Descriptive of a concept, product or service which is mature enough to fail in national markets to the same degree that it failed in test markets. 2. As useless to a general market as it is for the specialty market for which it was created.
(PRAWD·ukt·yzd) adj. 1. Anything once offered freely and available primarily to those who least need it which is now charged exorbitantly and provided primarily to those who can least afford it. 2. Anything more desirable as a manufactured product than in its a natural form, e.g. sex, water, air, human contact.
(PROH·toh·kawn·sept) n. A notion or idea in embryonic form; the creative equivalent to the sensation of pressure in the abdomen felt immediately prior to breaking wind.
(PUMP·und·dump) v. phr. To artificially elevate the value of a worthless asset prior to its disposal; analogous to issuing invitations to a bowel movement. etym. From crude sales slang, delicately translated: "love 'em and leave 'em".
(PYOOR PLAY) adj. phr. 1. A product or services company which markets exclusively online to its only loyal customer. 2. A company which vends product or services online as a means of avoiding the discomfort and inconvenience of actual human contact. 3. The primary workplace activity engaged in by employees of online-only companies.
(PWISH·bak·prewf) adj. 1. Capable of achieving a deadline despite the best efforts of management and customers to thwart the attempt. 2. Capable of sustaining developmental progress despite the apparent benefits of staying put.
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