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| mafiaboy managementproof marketstrapping Maytag-mode merchaintainment |
moontan mortarboardable multitiered most growable mouse potato |
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(MAW·fee·uh·boy) v. To apply denial-of-service attacks in the cause of disrupting a website's service with sufficient intensity and duration that the site's users and investors must find less wasteful uses of their resources. n. A forced therapeutic intervention between the provider of an Internet-based service and those who are addicted to its use.
(MAN·udj·munt·prewf) adj. 1. Constructed from two layers: one functional and hidden, the other decorative and accessible, such that the functional core becomes valueless if the employee who created it is threatened with downsizing. 2. Beyond bulletproof; sufficiently robust to withstand management input.
(MAR·kut·strap·ung) adj. Of an enterprise, product or service, able to create its own market, typically by selling to itself or its shareholders. v. 2. The act of creating a market where none should logically exist; the creation or revelation of new customers for one's competitors. 3. A mythical property of new-economy ventures which produce not just the product, but the market which consumes it.
(MAY·tag·mohd) adj. 1. Descriptive of operational standards specified for optimal reliability, typically due to the perceived incompetence of available maintenance and upgrading. 2. The most reliable, and by implication the least useful, operating mode for any system or component.
(mur·chun·TAYN·munt) n. 1. Amusement or entertainment provided by a merchant or vendor for the purpose of providing distraction while a customer's pocket is picked. 2. A paradoxical entertainment or attraction which marketers believe will entertain customers and which customers believe could only entertain marketers.
(MOON·tan) n. 1. The fluorescent gray pallor given off by the skins of veteran new-economy workers, caused by overexposure to fluorescent lighting and cathode-ray tube emissions. Well-developed tans exhibit a momentary yellow glow when the room is darkened. 2. Mental condition produced by prolonged lack of exposure to sunlight, typified by fear of daylight and desire to work nonstandard shifts; the first symptom of vampirism or server administration aptitude.
(more·tur·BORD·a·bull) adj. 1. Of highly intelligent concept or execution but negligible commercial value. 2. Niche-marketable only to MENSA members or FreeBSD users. 3. (derog.) Notion believed by the originator to be highly intelligent or creative, but which is sufficiently idiotic or dangerous that it merits public decapitation of the originator by their own graduation headgear.
(mul·tee·TEERD) adj. 1. Having more than one level of marginal functionality. 2. Sufficiently complex to require a multiple of its projected budget. 2. Unworkable at many levels simultaneously.
(mohst GRO·uh·bull) adj. phr. 1. Descriptive of clients or customers with the highest billings-to-market-cap ratios. 2. Of clients or customers, those who least appreciate the core worthlessness of an offering. 3. Of prospective customers, those who will not purchase but who might if the offering had any actual value.
(MOWSS puh·tay·tow). n. phr. An enlightened individual of high technological awareness who has achieved the enlightened realization that life is most safely, productively and enjoyably experienced through a computer screen. etym. The degree of enlightenment has come to be measured by the number of eyes (simultaneous processes), and the length of the roots extending from them, as a consequence of meditating before the screen for extended periods. rel. baked potato A computer operator or television addict on drugs.
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