The Geekspeak Lexicon: H

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hackronym

(HAK·ruh·nihm) n. 1. A previously non-existent word of dubious meaning which is created from the first letters of a phrase whose words have an equally dubious meaning in context of the subject they are intended to describe. 2. Any acronym with the obscurity and incomprehensibility of the previous definition.

h4><Ør

(HAKS·ohr) n. Self-descriptive term used by novice security crackers to instill fear in potential victims of their online exploits; a warning that the aggressor's incompetence poses a greater threat than their skill. also h4><·Ør·1N6 ("haxoring"), v. The commission of an aggressive act on a network of such incompetence that the perpetrator must be stopped to prevent the targets of such attacks from injury caused by excessive laughter.

heatseeking

(HEET·seek·ung) adj. Having built-in sensors capable of detecting radiant energy fields emanating from a money clip or credit card. n. Activity pattern common in low-level IT workers in northern climates during periods of economic downturn.

helicopter level

(HELL·uh·kawp·tur lev·ul) n. phr. 1. Between "eye-level" and "sky-level". An optimistic perspective which is unreal but believable while spin is maintained, and inescapably fatal once spin stops. 2. Barely workable; a concept or idea which is lofty but not to the point of being entirely starved for oxygen. 3. adj. An idea, dangerous and annoying, which hovers at low levels and produces excessive amounts of noise, and must be shot down using rational weaponry since its apparent mass precludes a reactionary swat.

horseshoe get

(HORS·shoo geht) n. phr. 1. Something acquired under circumstances of notable luck and/or good fortune which is facilitated by pressure, coercion, or the misfortune of others; e.g. the chance acquisition of a rich uncle's fortune through a bizarre accident involving a meat cleaver and a blackjack. 2. An acquisition made at the fortuitous moment when it causes the greatest pain or inconvenience to the seller. etym. From American pioneer lore; ranchers' wives occasionally inherited fortunes when the horseshoe hung over the front door had caught so much good luck that its weight caused the horseshoe to fall, typically at the precise moment that the rancher's skull passed beneath it.

hydraulics

(hy·DRAWL·ix) n. 1. Measure or mechanics of pass-through capability; the capacity of a node or subnet to pump data from a network, or of a venture to pump money from customers or investors. 2. Measure or mechanics of an individual's capacity to suck the life out of an otherwise healthy enterprise.