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(FAYR·ee·dym) n. 1. A sugar-coated arbitrary reality. 2. A logical framework which omits or denies accepted fundamental principles of human stupidity, herd instinct or animal meanness. syn. spew·top·i·a
(FEE·chur kreep) n. phr. 1. The inherent capacity of features to multiply until they overgrow the capacity of a software application or hardware device, completely obscuring its original purpose with nonfunctional accessories, superfluous peripheral utilities and pointless configuration options. 2. The defining symptom of feat·ur·it·is, a terminal, cancer-like condition afflicting more than 90 percent of all productivity software.
(fee·chur·FILL·thee) adj. phr. 1. Descriptive of software or hardware overloaded with options and capabilities to the point where it is applicable to virtually any task except the one for which it was created. 2. Descriptive of any process, device, product or structure which is so severely overthought or over-engineered that the use of its desktop shortcut or ON switch requires certification or a liability waiver.
(fee·ko·SEN·trik) adj. 1. Of an individual, one enamored with one's own crappiest ideas. 2. In marketing, to be focused, through either duress or client pressure, on the odor and appearance of a wet dung heap rather than the diamond-like sparkle which reflects from its fashionably earth-toned surface.
(FY·bur kamp·ing) adj. phr. Bandwidth-hungry; descriptive of a network node which inhales so much data and is so unwilling to share the pipe that no other node on the network can take a token, let alone get high bandwidth.
(FISH·far·mur) n. phr. 1. Internet entrepreneur who earns their living from the commercial harvest of gullible neophytes using shiny objects as bait; the primary provider of raw fuel to advocates of Internet commerce legislation.
(FISH·un·a·bull) adj. 1. Volatile; susceptible to destruction when exposed to insufficient financial catalyst. Used of enterprises, projects, entities and individuals. 2. Susceptible to explosion when exposed to sufficient financial catalyst. 3. Susceptible to emotional combustion as a consequence of deadline pressure and excessive caffeine intake.
(flat·dy·NAM·uk) adj. phr. Having little or no propensity for motion or movement in any direction; used to describe something as safe or dull in situations where plain English is not sufficiently obscure or confusing.
(FLOR·wurd·luk·ing) adj. Pessimistic, having the foresight to have applied for welfare before the earnings report is issued
(FLO·rč·duh kerv). n. phr. Plotted curve displaying extreme swings between high and low values over a short period of time; refers to the typical career arc of an IT executive or the valuation curve of a new-technology stock. etym. Derived from the results curve of the 2000 US presidential election. syn. roller-coaster
(FOO·bayst) adj. 1. Ephemeral; based on a foo. 2. Based on a concept, principle, technique or term which has not yet been invented, let alone studied, tested or proven to conform to known laws of nature. 3. Descriptive of any product or service which is unmarketable without the invention of a new buzzword.
(for·oh·FOWR). n. acr. (Error) Four Oh Four. 1. Not there; not connected, not present or relevant; e.g. a junior executive. 2. A clueless individual, typically a client or competitor. etym. From the standard error that occurs when attempting to access web content which the host has finally had the good sense to remove from public view.
(FREK·uld) adj. 1. Descriptive of an Internet address which includes sufficient dots and slashes to filter out possible visitors who do not yet know how to copy and paste. 2. Descriptive of a dot-com venture comprising a large number of Internet domains (dots), typically none of which produce enough com to justify the existence of the venture.
(FREE·wayr) n. 1. Software for which no money is charged because the act of doing so would reduce its usership to zero. 2. Perfectly useful software given away at no cost in the misguided belief that its provision will encourage sales of more complex and less useful versions of the same software. 3. Software liberated from its commercial status, permitting developer and publisher to pursue more productive careers as panhandlers.
(FRESH·niss dayt) n. phr. 1. A date, usually in the past, after which a product or service becomes obsolete or worthless. 2. Of two dates on a software package, one of which is the copyright date, the older.
(FRYT·syzd) adj. 1. Reduced in size and redundancy to the degree that it dare not move in any direction. 2. Staffed and budgeted in a fashion that virtually guarantees failure; sized appropriately to increase share value.
(FRINK) n. 1. Something so ineffable that it cannot be made buzzword-compliant. 2. A brilliant idea or concept whose time does not lie within this continuum of reality. 3. An idea or concept which is certain to conquer the world in the 2050's. 3. Foo with a stronger odor.
(FRAWB·uh·bull) adj. 1. Offering soothing or satisfying tactile feedback. Generally refers to ergonomically-designed input devices such as mice, trackballs or subordinate co-workers of the opposite sex. 2. (obscure) Easily hacked for the purpose of obtaining enhanced access or privileges.
(FROWN·syzd) adj. 1. Sufficiently reduced in number of personnel to insure minimal demands for employee benefits. 2. Proposed by management.
(FUD·proof) adj. Immune to changes in value perception caused by Fear, Uncertainty and Doubt; common term used in investor relations to describe technology stocks and speculative ventures vulnerable to the slightest changes in market perception.
(FYOO·chur·proof) adj. 1. Capable of being perceived as cutting-edge by cave dwellers and Amazonian tribesmen. 2. Obsolete tomorrow, as opposed to being obsolete yesterday.
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